Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
