She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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