Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
