so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
