You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
