Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Found the puke drawer
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
