i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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