You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
