Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
