I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
