i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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