She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
