I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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