So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
