covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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