Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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