Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
