I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
