we're chasing vodka with high fives
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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