apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
