Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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