My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
