you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
