Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
