And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
