Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
third nipple confirmed
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
