mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
