I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
