we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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