I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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