I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
