You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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