I look better un-naked...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
