Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
