she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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