check it out our google latitudes are spooning
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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