i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
