this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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