Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
