I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
