if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
