Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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