i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
