Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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