I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think my moral compass just broke
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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