How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm sobbing to NWA
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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