he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
