After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
