if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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