The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
